Sinking

I never actually knew what I am capable of and now that I know, I am scared of myself.

All these feelings that I have no room for in real life are making its existence. Vague as they seem, they continually poison me inside.

The visions I see: the bloodbath, the anarchy, the seduction,  and the lies are caving in and they’re eating me alive. They are as tangible as my hand pressing different keys on my pc.

I wish I were a fly on a wall so I could see them all lingering on me. As I call my name from the distance I would hear a cry for help but I would just buzz and suck some leftovers. And when I plead to take my life back as I put on the deadly circle, I would bang head to the window trying to elope with my filthy wings.

I will sing the song of my people but they would cry because of sheer terror. I will dance with the rhythm of life but as I sway into the deathly night, it swallows me whole. I will write a poem of love but all that I desire is too far gone.

I know how to swim yet I find myself sinking.

 

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